The bottom line is, you will to be tempted to engage in personal conversation with the hope of a happy relationship with someone in the company. Where it not for the evil, anti-happiness, get-in-the-way-of-fun squad (commonly known as Human Resources), you just might enjoy a long career of getting to know the wide variety of able and interested persons within your office space. But there are policies to read, harassment training to attend, and warning signs all over the place to remind you that most companies would prefer that your happiness be constrained to the occasional circulated Dilbert comic from 1997.

The reason for this is that, usually, there really are only about .03% of office relationships where everyone stays happy forever and if you are not happy in a relationship, you are…well, essentially miserable, and vengeful, and looking for any reason to make your former significant other equally as unhappy. This is why this usually ends (or starts, depending on how you look at it) in the HR Manager’s office.  Unfortunately, we don’t think about how a relationship can blow up at work, or how continuing in your job where someone wishes you a horrible rotting disease every time you cross paths in the hall can be, um, difficult.  We focus on the fun of new found love and the desire to leave a memory imprint on your boss’s desk without his knowledge. So let’s not dwell on HR’s unfortunate role in preventing your bliss (while they internally thank you, because if this stuff didn’t happen they wouldn’t have a job). Let’s focus on how you can meet, date, and enjoy love at work. Follow these simple rules and you will avoid much of the after effects when it all blows up in your naive face.

 

Rule #1 If the person you like is in your department, assume they have a highly infectious disease which will cause blindness and searing pain in all of your joints for the rest of your life. Yes, the person you work with every day is easier to get to know and even easier to flirt with all day long, but it is also the most horrible mistake you can make. Think of it as living in a very tiny room and buying a Great Dane puppy. Sure, he’s cute, but once he grows up you will have drool and poop everywhere you step and if the dog decides he doesn’t like you anymore….you’re stuck in a small room with a Great Dane with an attitude. On top of that, lots of companies have policies that prevent this and you never want your boss to have to pick between you and a cute Great Dane puppy for a promotion.

 

Rule #2 If your company has several floors (or buildings), than every floor you do not work on is fair game. It’s always nice to “mistakenly” stop on the floor where your new sweetheart works just to catch each others eye and you know it’s appreciated. On the other side of the coin, avoiding the wrath of the spurned is akin to Hercules NOT having to face the Hydra.

 

Rule #3 If he or she is your boss (or anywhere on your corporate food chain) forget it. There are policies against it which will go as far as the company tossing out one or both of you. If you have to go this route, transfer out. DO NOT assume that no one will ever find out. There are people in your company who love this kind of discovery and will go to great lengths to prove a boss/worker relationship.

 

Rule #4 If you have followed rule 1 through 3, don’t hide the relationship. As much as everyone loves people in love, it also sticks a “not available” sign on your significant other and, more importantly, it immediately recruits the entire company as your spy ring to ensure that everyone is behaving. If you think someone at the company will not rat you out if you are seen at a local Friday’s with someone other than the person you are dating at work….you are naive and an idiot.

 

Rule #5 If you are a player…..see rule #4 and learn from it.

 

Rule #6 If you get married, one of you should quit your job. There can be such a thing as too much connection with another person. Unless you really like having your spouse knowing the office conversations you have, what is going on in your department, how you are performing as an employee and then going home and discovering you actually have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said at work. Once you two move in, one of you at the job should move out.

 

Falling in love at work happens all the time and sometimes, for the well behaved, it leads to happiness. For the most part, its job security for HR and a good reason we have sexual harassment policies. It’s great for office gossip, but it does have its rewards. I wish you the best in your quest because I know most of you will ignore these warnings, which is fine… because I really do love watching the drama when it’s not mine. 

 

Copyright © 2011 Mike Baumgartner | HR | Consulting | Coach |  Human Resources | Search - CEO, Worklife Survival Center LLC